


Draft Picks

by gemzies



Series: Shake-Ups and Surprises [2]
Category: World Wrestling Entertainment
Genre: Anger, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Arguing, Doubt, Emotional Hurt, Established Relationship, Eventual Happy Ending, Finn’s return to NXT, Guilt, Honesty, Lack of Communication, Life on the Road, Love, M/M, Relationship Problems, Self-Blame, Worry, brand split round two, career decisions, difficult conversations, long talks, the disaster that was the HIAC 2019 main event
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-31
Updated: 2020-06-29
Packaged: 2021-02-28 22:53:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 15,154
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23404819
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gemzies/pseuds/gemzies
Summary: Seth and Finn's relationship survived the "superstar shake-up" in April despite the strain the separation brought. And now with another brand split looming in a couple weeks, Seth can barely contain his excitement at the thought of being on the road together again. But Finn has a decision to make, and his choice might be the thing that ultimately tears them apart.
Relationships: Finn Balor | Prince Devitt/Seth Rollins | Tyler Black
Series: Shake-Ups and Surprises [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1577974
Comments: 19
Kudos: 22





	1. Heading Back East

**Author's Note:**

> This has been swirling around my head since October. I hope you enjoy.

_I should have been home 12 hours ago,_ Seth grumbled to himself with a sigh. He pulled his beanie down further over his forehead and the messy bun his black hair had been thrown into, popping his earbuds in but not turning any music on. It was more so no one would bother him, as he really wasn’t in the mood to chat. Or at least chat with anyone he might run into in an airport.

Late flights weren’t his favorite. There was something about dealing with an airport full of tired and cranky people at night that just made the already stressful experience of traveling feel so much worse. He also always found it hard to sleep on them, usually hopping onto the plane right after a show and full of adrenaline. He hadn’t gotten in the ring this time, though, or even appeared on camera, and he wondered if that would make a difference as he pulled his phone out.

Seth sighed again and slumped down into his seat. He had originally been booked for a flight home from San Francisco early that morning, but after the previous night’s Raw WWE management had “asked” him to stay for Smackdown the next night in the same arena. Despite not having a match on the card, they said that he was needed for “promotional work” for Fox and the brand split that was coming up, and “creative meetings” about the upcoming Hell In A Cell event. So, he re-booked his flight so he could go home that night instead, leaving the arena to head to the airport about an hour before the show was scheduled to end.

He knew it was what he signed up for as champion. And he was extremely proud to be carrying the Universal Championship for a second time. But between his insane schedule since Summerslam, and Finn’s sabbatical and the travel he had been doing during that, Seth felt like he hadn’t seen his boyfriend in weeks. And it was starting to drive him crazy.

He contemplated calling Finn, going so far as to open his contacts list, but instead he took a deep breath and put his phone back in his pocket. It was late in Florida, and Seth had almost forgotten about the time difference again. Since he’d been off the road Finn had been falling asleep earlier, and even though he knew the older man wouldn’t mind Seth really didn’t want to wake him up if he’d already gone to bed.

He heard the call for his flight, and gave a polite nod as he looked up and spotted a couple of his coworkers walking by towards their own gates. It still felt weird to be flying into Orlando instead of Davenport, despite having been splitting his time between the two for well over a year now. There was a lack of privacy there, as so many people who worked for the company lived in Florida thanks to the Performance Center, and he knew there would be autograph hounds waiting in the airport as a result. But Orlando meant Finn Bálor, who had been down there for a couple of weeks to start preparing for his return to the ring, and Seth smiled to himself as he stood and gathered his bags at the thought of finally getting a few days with his love.

He let his mind wander as he got settled into his seat. When they had spoken that morning, after Seth had called to let him know about the schedule change, Finn had mentioned that he had a meeting with creative that afternoon. Seth had heard rumors, rumblings of ideas that he hoped would bring Finn back to Raw. As much as he tried to not let his expectations run wild, he couldn’t help but get excited at the thought. He had desperately missed having the Irishman on the road with him since the shake-up in April. As he leaned against the window to attempt to nap, he started thinking of all the possibilities once they were back on the same brand.

*****

Seth stifled a yawn as his cab pulled up in front of the house. It was around 3:30am, and he hadn’t really been able to sleep on the plane after all. He yanked his bags out of the trunk and then paid and tipped the driver, fishing his keys out of his carry-on as the car sped off. Picking up his things as he yawned again, he made his way carefully through the gate and up the walk to the house. He unlocked the front door as quietly as he could to avoid waking Finn, but as he opened it, he noticed dim light coming from what appeared to be the kitchen down the hall. He left his bags by the door, careful to avoid blocking the stairs (he’d tripped over his own mess many a morning after coming in late, much to Finn’s amusement), and headed towards the glow.

He was met there by a sleepy pair of blue eyes, and a tired looking grin. “Hi, love,” Finn greeted him softly.

Seth stopped and leaned against the doorjamb, a small smile creeping across his face, and simply studied Finn for a moment. Finn was sat at the kitchen table, one hand holding a mug of what he guessed was tea, the other holding a Lego block. More blocks were spread around the table, the instructions laid out to his right, and what appeared to be the beginnings of a spaceship on the mat directly in front of him. “Well this is an unexpected surprise,” he said as he folded his arms over his chest. His tone was teasing, but there was a hint of concern in his eyes that he couldn’t hide.

Finn shrugged, his grin growing a bit sheepish. “Couldn’t sleep. Figured this would be a more productive way to wait for you.”

Seth didn’t respond, just shook his head and walked over towards Finn as the other man put his things down and stood to meet him. He wrapped his arms tightly around the shorter man once he reached him, hands wrapping themselves in his loose t-shirt, and bent just slightly to bury his face in his boyfriend’s neck. “I missed you,” he whispered. A tension he hadn’t even realized he’d been carrying began to melt away as he felt a warm hand rest upon the back of his neck, the other slowly rubbing up and down his spine.

Finn pulled back slightly to place a gentle kiss on his temple before tugging him in tight again. “I missed you, too,” he replied softly.

The words were said from the heart, but Seth’s tired brain thought it heard something else hiding in Finn’s tone. A tiny bit of an emotion he couldn’t identify. He chalked it up to his own exhaustion and brushed it off for the moment, kissing the crook of Finn’s neck before pulling back so they were face to face instead. A small laugh escaped his lips as he ran a hand over buzzed brown hair, the laugh growing louder as Finn shook him off with a giggle of his own. “Still not used to it being so short,” he muttered. “You look amazing.” He wasn’t lying, either, Finn did look amazing – the two months out of the ring had done wonders for his already perfect body; he somehow looked even more muscular and was practically glowing from finally being able to relax after years of going at full-speed.

He took note of each line that formed as Finn smiled again, the corners of his eyes crinkling with the warmth radiating from him. The hand on the back of his neck tugged him forwards, and Seth sighed as their lips finally met. “I love you,” Finn whispered against his lips as they parted briefly, before pulling him back in for a second, deeper kiss.

Seth was near-breathless when they parted the second time. “I love you, too.” They stood there like that for a moment, Finn eventually resting his head on Seth’s shoulder as they both enjoyed the feeling of being held. “You’ll have to tell me how that meeting with creative went,” Seth muttered once he felt it was time to break the silence. He scratched his nails lightly through the back of Finn’s short hair as he talked, and felt more than heard the contented hum his actions earned him.

Finn shook his head against Seth’s shoulder before pulling back, placing a gentle hand on Seth’s cheek. “We can worry about that later, love,” he replied. There it was again, that unplaceable emotion Seth had heard earlier, and he began to wonder if there was something Finn was keeping from him. “Let’s go to bed.” He reached out for Seth’s hand, leading him up the stairs towards the bedroom with another warm smile.

He allowed himself to be led without a word, getting ready quickly and climbing into bed next to Finn with a smile on his face. The older man curled up into him almost instantly, and he wrapped his arms around him and pulled him as tightly into his chest as he could. Laying there with his boyfriend in his arms he felt incredibly content, but as he started to drift to sleep, he couldn’t help the nagging thought that Finn was hiding something.


	2. Time to Talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finn and Seth have a conversation about Finn's meeting with creative. The talk doesn't unfold in a way either man could have predicted.

Finn was a bundle of nerves as he again sat at the kitchen table, waiting for Seth to wake up. A glance at his watch told him it was almost noon, and he decided that if the younger man didn’t make his way downstairs within the next half-hour, he’d finally have to go wake him. There was a small part of him that would be okay letting him sleep away the entire day. But he missed him and wanted to maximize the short time they had together before Seth had to get back on the road.

He also knew that he couldn’t avoid the conversation they were going to have to have forever.

He yawned, stretching his back and neck as he did so before returning his hands to the mug of coffee they’d been clutching. The Lego project from the night before had been carefully placed back in its container, abandoned after a few start-stop attempts that morning before Finn realized he couldn’t focus on it with everything else on his mind. That added to his nervousness; building with Lego had always been one of the ways he calmed himself down in times like this. The lack of sleep also wasn’t helping, but that he was able to brush off a little easier.

Despite his worries, he still broke into a grin when he heard the sound of footsteps plodding down the stairs and towards the kitchen. “Mornin’,” he greeted when Seth finally appeared in the doorway.

Seth made his way around the table to where Finn sat, bending down to give him a soft kiss. “Good morning,” he responded as he reached out and grabbed one of Finn’s hands. Finn felt himself shiver slightly as calloused fingers lightly traced the brightly colored ink that now covered the back of it. “This healed up nicely,” he commented. Seth placed a kiss to the center of the tattoo before letting go, making Finn’s heart do a backflip.

Finn didn’t say anything, simply allowed himself to gaze at the man he loved so much as he walked over to the cabinet to grab a mug. _We’ve already made it this far,_ he thought to himself, _we’re going to be fine._

“So,” Seth started as he poured himself a cup of coffee. “How did that meeting with creative go yesterday?”

The excitement in Seth’s voice made Finn cringe. He took a deep breath, exhaling slowly before he responded. “Yeah, about that.” He stood as he spoke, grabbing his mug and motioning towards the living room. “We need to talk.”

He led the way into the other room, and after Seth had settled onto the couch, he sat down on the armchair next to it. Finn could almost feel the instant worry spike in Seth when he didn’t sit next to him, but he was so nervous he couldn’t handle being too close.

“What’s wrong?” Seth questioned before he’d even opened his mouth, and not for the first time Finn wanted to curse the fact that his love knew him so damn well.

Finn sat slightly hunched over, elbows resting on his knees, chin on his hands. His eyes were firmly fixed on his mug as it sat on the coffee table. “The meeting wasn’t with creative, so to speak. It was with Hunter,” he started. He forced his voice to sound calm as he spoke, even as his anxiety worked overtime. “Basically, with the current plans heading into Crown Jewel, the earliest I’d be able to return is after Survivor Series.”

“What?” Seth exclaimed loudly, so loudly it almost startled Finn. “That’s ridiculous! You’re a star, you should be coming back at the draft…”

“Or,” the Irishman continued, cutting Seth off before he could finish his rant. “He offered me the option of returning to NXT.”

Seth’s jaw dropped. “NXT?” he whispered.

Finn nodded. He swallowed hard, then finally looked up to meet Seth’s gaze. “I said yes.”

An uncomfortable silence settled between the two men. Finn continued to look at Seth, silently pleading for him to understand, while it was Seth’s turn to stare a hole in the coffee table.

It felt like forever before the silence was broken. “You did?” Seth’s voice was small, a hint of hurt hiding there, and Finn hated himself for a second for causing that.

Finn nodded. “I just…” he paused, trying to think of the best way to put his thoughts into words. “I can’t go back to what I was doing before,” he finally explained. “You know how unhappy I was, love, I talked your damn ear off about it.” He paused again, running a hand over his hair anxiously. “This is a chance for a fresh start,” he finished.

Seth nodded, another silence falling between them. “Seth?” Finn said softly, almost hoping Seth didn’t hear him but also just wanting his love to say _something_.

Seth took a deep breath, wringing his hands, and Finn could tell he was struggling with what had just been dropped on him. He didn’t look up from the coffee table when he spoke. “I mean, I… I’d kind of been thinking you’d be returning to Raw,” he said, voice almost eerily calm.

“I know,” Finn responded softly.

“What about all that talk before Summerslam, didn’t Heyman want you to join the O.C.?”

Despite the tension in the room, Finn couldn’t help but give a tiny laugh. “Have you seen the way they’ve been booked lately?”

Seth huffed, and Finn was almost relieved at the sound. “Okay, you have a point,” Seth conceded. “But…” he trailed off, clearly trying to think of how he wanted to phrase something. Finn sat patiently, still looking at Seth even though Seth still wouldn’t look at him. “Even without them, what about coming back as a heel?” he offered.

Finn shook his head. “What, so instead of generic smiling guy, they can turn me into generic chicken-shit guy?” He tried to keep the bitterness out of his voice, but the way Seth’s face contorted let him know he’d done a poor job.

Seth sighed. “I mean, I guess I get it, but I… I’d been hoping you and I could feud for the belt again,” he admitted. His voice was soft, and he looked up at Finn with such sadness in his dark eyes that it made Finn’s heart ache.

A small, tender smile tugged at the corners of Finn’s lips. “I know, love. And you know I’d love nothing more than to square up with you on a regular basis again.” His smile faded, and a hint of determination crept into his voice. “But I’m not going to let Vince completely ruin the reputation I built in Japan,” he stated, averting his gaze to his hands for a second before looking into Seth’s eyes again. “If I ever turn heel again, it’s going to be done my way, and on my terms. And that’s never going to happen on Raw or Smackdown at this point.”

Seth bit his bottom lip, nodding slightly. “So. NXT, huh?”

Finn nodded.

Seth’s eyes flicked down to the floor again, for an excruciatingly long moment, but when he looked up again Finn was shocked to see anger simmering in the doe eyes he loved so much. “And you couldn’t have talked to me about it first?” he spat.

Finn recoiled like he’d been slapped at the other man’s tone. He had to compose himself a little before he could reply. “It… Hunter needed an answer, and you were at work…”

Seth shook his head and slammed his hand down on the coffee table. “You still could have called!” he almost yelled. “Or texted. Or _something!_ ”

Suddenly this was going even worse than Finn had imagined. “I’m sorry, love. I…”

“This affects me too, you know,” Seth continued. “Or maybe you’ve forgotten that during your time off?”

“Excuse me?” Finn replied, hurt starting to swirl around inside him at Seth’s words.

Seth stood up, moving around the coffee table so he was directly facing Finn. “We’ve barely seen each other for months. Remember? Remember how I rearranged my entire travel schedule after you decided to take time off? Red-eyes and early morning flights to make sure we could spend as much time together as possible, remember? And I get _this_ as a thank you?” he said angrily. “Do you not want to spend time around me or something?”

The hurt Finn was feeling was joined by a rising anger at Seth’s accusation. “What the fuck?” he replied, getting up out of his chair. “How the _Hell_ could you even think that? I fucking love you, Seth. Of _course_ I want to be with you.” His words came out in a rush, accent thick as he began to grow irate.

“ _Then why aren’t you coming back to be with me?”_ Seth shouted. An icy silence filled the room then, despite the heat rising through both men.

Finn took a deep breath, and then another, willing himself not to say anything he was going to regret as he met Seth’s angry glare. Instead of speaking, he suddenly turned on his heel and walked over to the front door and grabbed his keys.

“Wait, where the hell are you going?” Seth demanded, taking a couple steps towards the Irishman.

Finn grabbed his jacket off one of the hooks by the door and put it on. “Full Sail,” he replied shortly, checking to make sure his wallet was in his back pocket. “Hunter wants me to see how they’re shooting now that they’re live, and we could both stand to cool off for a while.” He picked up his phone and placed it in his jacket pocket, opening the door before turning to face Seth again. “I’ll be back in a few hours,” he stated flatly.

He didn’t wait for a response. Instead, he simply stepped outside and slammed the door behind him.

*****

Finn pulled his car into the driveway and just sat there. He knew he needed to talk to Seth, to finish the conversation they’d started earlier, hopefully with cooler heads prevailing.

He had known there was a chance Seth would react negatively when he told him he was returning to NXT. But he’d never, not in a million years, thought Seth would accuse him of not wanting to be with him. Of not caring about him. The words had cut him like a knife.

But at the same time, a tiny sliver of guilt had begun to sit in the pit of his stomach. Guilt for not talking to Seth before making his decision, for walking out on him, for _hurting_ him. Guilt that his career was the reason they wouldn’t be seeing each other much for a while. Again. But this time it was his choice, not creative’s.

He let out a shaky breath and finally got out of the car. He tried to calm his nerves as he made the short walk from the car to the front door, until he was… not quite okay, but as close as he was going to get. He opened the front door slowly, peeking his head in as he opened it to find nothing but darkness. “Seth?” he called softly as he entered, closing the door behind him before flipping the light switch. The living room was deserted, save for the mug he’d left still sitting abandoned on the coffee table. He took off his jacket, hanging it back up before deciding to head up the stairs.

He called out Seth’s name again as he got to the bedroom, eyebrows furrowing as he stepped into the room. “Love?” he tried quietly, not wanting to wake him if he was asleep, but after getting no response he dared to turn the lights on. The bed was fully made, bathroom empty. No sign of Seth.

Finn headed back down the stairs. “Seth? You here?” he tried one more time, rounding the corner at the bottom and heading to the kitchen. He flipped on the light in the kitchen and froze. Sitting in the middle of the kitchen table was a beautiful bouquet of red roses, sitting in a glass vase.

He stepped forward towards the bouquet as cautiously as he would approach a rabid dog. Instead of warming his heart the way the token of affection normally would, alarm bells were going off in his head. As he got closer to the table, he saw the card lying in front of the bouquet and swallowed nervously. He reached out for it with a shaking hand, sitting down at the table before daring to open it.

_Finn,_

_I’m sorry for leaving without telling you, especially with the way we left things earlier. I got an urgent call from Marek  
and had to return _ _to Davenport immediately. I’m sorry._

_Love you._

_\--Seth_

Finn read and re-read the brief message over and over, as if he couldn’t process what he was seeing. He didn’t want to process it. He didn’t want to accept the fact that Seth was gone, that he’d left even though their time together was going to be so rare over the coming days. It was just past midnight by that point, now Thursday morning, and Seth was due back out on the road Friday for the weekend house shows. After Raw on Monday he’d be heading straight to Los Angeles to do press for the Smackdown on Fox premiere that week, not to mention Hell in a Cell the Sunday after, and of course Raw the following Monday. He wouldn’t be home again for almost two weeks.

_If he comes home._

The thought slammed into Finn’s head like a truck. The card fell from his hands, and he curled up with his head in his arms on the table as the tears began pouring out of him.


	3. Let it Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finn tries to let off some steam, but a run-in with a friend leads to even more thoughts.

Finn grunted as he dropped the dumbbells he’d been using and allowed himself to fall backwards onto the weight bench. His muscles were aching, but he had no desire to stop. He’d been pushing himself way more than he usually did, more than he ever really needed to considering how strictly he kept to his diet (not that he’d been eating much the past few days), but he wanted to be ready for his return to TV in a few days. Or at least that was what he told himself, how he was justifying it, though the truth was he desperately needed to let off some steam.

He laid there for a minute or two to catch his breath before slowly sitting back up, stretching out his arms a little and then getting up to put the weights back on the rack. It was late Saturday night, and after tossing and turning for a couple hours he’d given up and headed to the Performance Center to try to burn some energy. In a rare turn of events he’d found himself alone in the PC’s gym, the freedom of which allowed him to pretty much do what he wanted without anyone questioning him. The last thing he needed was Matt Bloom staring at him like a disappointed parent, a look he’d gotten way too used to over the decade-plus they’d known each other.

He moved over to the sled, lining it up on the strip of artificial turf and stacking plate upon plate, adding what was probably too much weight to be moved comfortably. As he moved to the back of the weighted sled to get into position, Finn heard someone chuckling from the other side of the room.

“You trying to give yourself a hernia over there?” Ricochet joked, walking over towards Finn and reaching out for a fist bump.

Finn had known Ricochet for years, well before WWE was a reality for either of them, and he was both relieved and moderately annoyed that he’d been the one to interrupt his workout. “Nah, mate. Couldn’t sleep, so I figured I’d see if I could tire myself out,” he explained. “What are you doing here at this hour?” he asked, looking over at the clock on the wall near the mirrors. “Wait, shouldn’t you be in Arizona?” His brow furrowed as he spoke, realization dawning him that the younger man should be out on the road for the Raw brand house shows. Finn’s heart ached as he thought about the reason why he had the brand’s touring schedule memorized.

The other man ignored the question, instead motioning towards a set of bleachers located just outside the weight room, near where the practice rings were. Finn followed as he walked over and took a seat up on the top row, looking out over the empty room. Ricochet then turned towards him, looking him over quickly and raising an eyebrow as he spoke again. “You sure that’s all you were trying to do?”

Finn sighed as he sat down next to him. “I don’t know.” His response was met with silence, encouraging him to continue. “I guess I just have a lot on my mind. Needed to let off some steam.”

“Is it helping?”

“No,” he admitted begrudgingly. He looked down at his feet and sighed again. “I’m not sure anything will at this point,” he muttered, half under his breath.

Ricochet nodded slowly. “Want to talk about it?”

Finn weighed his options. On one hand, he really didn’t want to talk about everything – he didn’t even want to think about it. But on the other, he hadn’t really spoken to anyone since his blow up with Seth a few days prior. Including Seth.

He chewed on his bottom lip for a second before he finally replied. “I can’t talk about everything, work stuff and all that,” he started, keeping his impending return to the black & yellow brand close to the chest. Ricochet nodded. “But I had a decision to make recently, and I think I did the right thing. At least for my career…” he trailed off as he tried to figure out the best way to phrase things. “But in doing the right thing for my career, I might have done the worst thing for my relationship. And now I’m not sure what I’m doing at all.” The words felt heavy on his lips and weighed even heavier on his heart, but he couldn’t deny that it felt good to let it out.

Ricochet hummed in response but didn’t say anything, leaving space for Finn to continue.

“I mean, I guess Seth was right, I should have talked to him first. It’s… it’s something that affects him too in a way, I guess. But I thought he’d understand.” He felt his eyes start burning, and he squeezed them shut to try and chase the feeling away. “Instead… instead he didn’t quite react the way I hoped he would.” _Understatement of the year, Bálor._

Finn felt a hand on his shoulder, and finally looked up to see Ricochet looking at him. There was a hint of concern in his dark eyes, and Finn had to avert his own gaze to avoid tearing up again. “What happened?” The question was asked softly, Ricochet’s tone leaving room in case he didn’t want to answer. It was appreciated.

He looked out at the various practice rings, replaying in his mind memories of some of the times he and Seth had stopped in to spar or work on spots during their feud for the Intercontinental Championship the previous year. How things had changed. “I guess you could say he took it personally,” he said sadly. “When I told him he kind of exploded, and it got so heated I left so we could both calm down before either of us said something stupid. When I got back home a few hours later he was gone, a note on the table and that was it. That was on Wednesday, and we haven’t spoken since.” His eyes began to burn again but this time he let it happen, tears running into his beard as he continued. “I just… maybe he’s right, maybe I did make a mistake. Maybe I didn’t take him into consideration enough, or… I don’t know. This whole mess was my fault to begin with,” he spat, the words coming out harsher than he expected as he thought back on his failed second run with the Intercontinental title, the disaster that was his move to Smackdown, and the strain on his relationship it caused. He choked back the sobs that were welling up in his chest, and when he spoke again his voice was small. “I just... I _had_ to do this. I had to. And I thought he would see that. I thought he’d…” Finn stopped, unable to keep going with all the emotion flowing through his body.

“You thought he’d be more supportive?” Ricochet provided, and Finn nodded the affirmative. Ricochet let out a heavy breath and gave Finn’s shoulder a squeeze. The two sat like that for a few moments, Ricochet’s hand keeping Finn somewhat grounded as he tried to regain his composure. Then Ricochet spoke again. “You’re right, you know.”

Finn was caught off-guard by Ricochet’s response. He wiped his eyes and turned to face his friend; his own eyebrows raised. “You… you think so?” he asked cautiously.

Ricochet nodded, his eyes full of resolve. “I don’t know what the situation was or the decision you made, and maybe talking with him prior would have helped,” he said, never breaking eye contact with the Irishman. “But if this was something that would affect your career, if he loves you, he should be behind you 100% of the way. You’ve worked your ass off for twenty years to get where you are. And he should recognize that and support you no matter what the next goal you set is.” He paused for a brief second to find the words he wanted. “Even though I don’t know you as well as he does, I’ve known you longer than he has. And I know you well enough to know that you would never take a decision about your work lightly.” The younger man stood then, squeezing Finn’s shoulder again before making his way down the bleachers. “And if he doesn’t support your career, maybe he’s not the right person for you,” he offered, giving once last glance at Finn before walking away towards the exit.

Finn stared at the other man as he walked away, nodding in acknowledgement as he turned and gave a small wave as he got near the door. He remained on the bleachers for a moment, taking deep breaths to try and regain some semblance of his composure, before slowly getting up and heading back towards the weight room. He paused after entering the room briefly but then continued through to the locker room. He didn’t have the energy left to finish his workout, anything he’d had in the tank had completely drained out of him during the talk.

As he made his way home from the Performance Center, Ricochet’s words kept replaying in his head. When he got into the house he headed first into the kitchen, grabbing a beer before slowly heading up the stairs to the bedroom. He sat down on the side of the bed, pulling his phone out with a sigh. He took a large drink from the bottle as he opened his camera roll, swiping through until he landed on a picture of himself and Seth. It was a fairly recent picture, taken without their knowledge - the two of them sitting together on the back porch of the house in Iowa, looking at each other with such love it made him melt when Seth’s mom had sent it to him.

_“If he doesn’t support your career, maybe he’s not the right person for you.”_

Finn’s eyes began to water again as he stared down at the photo. Deep down he _knew_ Seth was the one for him, he’d known it from the first time they’d hung out. But as he tried to reassure himself, the familiar guilt and self-blame for the situation they’d found themselves in surfacing again, he couldn’t ignore the tiny seed of doubt that started to plant itself among the other thoughts.

He took a deep breath as he put his phone down on the nightstand. He took another swig from the beer, and then rolled over onto the bed in hopes of getting at least a couple hours of sleep.


	4. Reality Check

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seth is confronted about his poor mood before Monday Night Raw, and comes face to face with a realization he never wanted to make.

The sound of his locker room door opening damn near startled Seth out of his skin. “Fucking hell, man,” he muttered, hand on his chest as the man who had suddenly invaded his space laughed and closed the door behind him.

Cesaro walked over and took a seat next to Seth with a shrug. “Not my fault you forgot to lock the door.” The Swiss man answered Seth’s glare with a smirk, and then shook his head. “Alright, spill,” he ordered.

The demand caught Seth off-guard. “Huh? Spill what?”

Cesaro ran a hand over his bald head and cocked an eyebrow at this friend. “Seth. You’ve been moping around like someone kicked your puppy the entire road trip. It’s not like you to hang on to something like this.” His gaze softened, concern starting to show through the normally jovial façade the man kept. “Talk to me, man,” he asked, gently.

Seth sighed. “Finn and I got in a fight last week. It’s nothing,” he lied. He averted his gaze to the floor beneath his feet, suddenly finding himself unable to look his friend in the eye. “It’s nothing,” he repeated, unsure if he was trying to convince Cesaro or himself.

The other man shook his head. “If it was nothing, you wouldn’t be hiding in your locker room for the fourth day in a row,” he pointed out. “Look, I don’t want to pry. But you know you can’t go out to the ring later for Raw like _this_.” He waved a hand up and down to indicate the way Seth was sitting, hunched over with his hands on his knees, his face drawn.

Shaking his head, Seth sighed again. “Yeah, I know.” He forced himself to sit up straight, shifting slightly to face the other man. “This doesn’t leave this room, right?” he asked, almost more of a statement.

Cesaro’s eyebrows rose. “You’ve known me for over 15 years and you still need to say that?”

“Okay, okay. It’s just…” Seth took a deep breath, still unsure if he should be talking about it. “Finn’s going back to NXT,” he blurted out.

A look of confusion plastered itself on Cesaro’s face. “He was sent down?”

Seth shook his head. “Nope. It was his choice.” He took another deep breath, feeling the anger and upset starting to rise again. “He sprang it on me Wednesday. Said he’d met with Hunter about his return and the offer was made, and he accepted without bothering to talk to me about it first or anything,” he said, voice wavering but thankfully not cracking.

Cesaro nodded but didn’t say anything, as if he knew there was more to the story. Silently prompting Seth to continue.

Seth took the hint. “I was hurt, and yeah I probably overreacted but he got defensive, and it got to the point where we were both yelling. And then he left, no goodbye or anything. Said he was going to Full Sail so we could both calm down and just stormed out.” He swallowed, blinking a few times to stop the burning in his eyes. “About an hour after he took off, I got a call from Marek about a problem at the school. And after thinking about it I decided to head back to Davenport. Left some flowers and a note in the kitchen, and headed to the airport,” he confessed.

The Swiss man let out a low whistle. “That… that’s pretty cold, dude.”

Seth nodded. “I was just so hurt, you know? Like, we rarely see each other as it is, and I miss him so damn much, but it felt like that didn’t matter. _I_ didn’t matter,” he explained. “And then he didn’t seem to understand _why_ I was upset, and I just started getting angrier and angrier and… I just needed space to sort this all out. So I left.”

“But you’ve apologized since, right?”

Seth bit his lip so hard he thought it would bleed. Then he shook his head, unable to make the admission with words.

Cesaro’s face fell. “Seriously?”

Seth just nodded, turning his attention back to the floor. He already felt guilty about the whole thing, but now he just felt like trash.

There were a few moments of silence before Cesaro spoke again. “Seth, let me ask you a question,” the Swiss man started, turning his body so he was completely facing him. “When was the last time you and Finn argued before this? Like really fought about something?”

Seth’s gaze continued to focus on the linoleum as he thought. He had to think about it for a while before it came to him. “December.” He nodded as he answered, the details of the long-forgiven battle coming back to him. “When he was sick during the South American tour. He’d been hiding how sick he really was, but when the medics finally got a look at him they sent him home immediately. I blew a gasket when he told me.” Seth’s eyes went glassy for a moment as he remembered how scared for Finn he’d been once he found out the real extent of the illness. “I was so worried about him, and so angry that he didn’t tell me how bad it was. Angry that he’d risked his health like that,” he finished.

Cesaro nodded. “Wasn’t he about to get a massive push when that happened?” he asked thoughtfully.

A tiny smile graced Seth’s lips. “Yep. Finally got his shot at Lesnar,” he said, a hint of pride in his voice as he thought back to that match, the Universal Championship match at the Royal Rumble, and how his love had blown everyone’s expectations out of the water that night.

Another nod from the other man. “I seem to remember you not being too happy at Money in the Bank, either,” he commented.

Seth gave a small laugh. “I was _pissed_ that he didn’t warn me about that sunset flip spot off the ladder,” he admitted. He sighed, shaking his head. “By the time the match was over I was so worried about him I couldn’t be mad. He damn near broke his back. But I have to admit that other than the crap finish, he was the only thing people talked about after the match.” He huffed again, finally dragging his eyes up from the ground to look at his friend. “So I guess he was right.”

Cesaro took a deep breath. “Right. So now let me ask you this,” he said. “Did you tell Finn about the bump off the cell last year?” he asked, referencing his fall from the side of the structure at Hell in a Cell.

Seth had to go through his brain for a second. “No,” he answered finally.

“Was he mad about it?” Cesaro followed-up.

“No,” he conceded. “He was worried because of the way I hit the table, but not angry. He said he understood because of the way it played into the story of the match.”

“Uh-huh. What about that storyline with Becky over the summer?” Cesaro continued his questioning. “Did you run it by him before saying yes?”

Seth shook his head, no.

“Did he get angry or upset at you for agreeing to a relationship angle?”

Seth smirked. “Unless you count him threatening to kill me if I botched the table spot at Extreme Rules and hurt Becky,” he joked, remembering the Irishman’s threats ( _‘Seth, you know I love you, but if anything happens to her I’ll rip your head off.’)_. “He was fine with it. He knew it could have been a good career move, pairing up with her while she was still red hot.”

“I see,” Cesaro responded. He was silent then, obviously pondering something. It made Seth nervous. “You know what I think?” he finally said to break the silence.

Seth swallowed. He had a weird feeling he wasn’t going to like what he was going to hear.

Cesaro sighed. “It’s understandable that you were upset he didn’t talk to you about something like that. But,” he continued, making sure he was looking Seth in the eye. “I think that you need to take a hard look at the way you react to his career versus the way he reacts to yours,” he stated.

Seth’s eyes widened. “I… huh?” He was confused, having problems processing the words, but he wasn’t sure if it was that he couldn’t figure it out or that he didn’t want to. “What do you mean?”

Cesaro shook his head, and then abruptly stood up. “You need to stop reacting to how Finn’s career moves will affect _you_ , Seth, and start thinking about how they affect _him._ ” He clapped Seth on the shoulder briefly, and then turned and exited the room.

Seth felt like he’d had a bucket of ice water thrown on him. He bent forward until his head was between his legs, struggling to keep his breathing even. He’d always thought he was a supportive boyfriend – he had to be, right? They would never have made it for as long as they had if he wasn’t. Right?

Flashbacks ran through his mind of the shake-up in April, the way Finn kept apologizing the night he’d found out about his shift to the blue brand. The way the older man had been so nervous to bring up the idea of taking the sabbatical he knew he so badly needed in August, to the point where he’d almost had a panic attack before he could speak to Seth. The argument in December 2018 replaying again and again, suddenly aware of the way his words had come off, his concern for his lover’s health coming out more like worry about what it would mean for _himself_ if something happened to Finn.

 _Oh, God,_ Seth thought to himself as he began to fully realize the truth in what Cesaro had said. _I’m such a fucking asshole._


	5. Debut

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finn makes his return to Full Sail University

“Bálor.”

The booming sound of his boss’s voice brought Finn’s attention up from his phone. He’d been leaning up against the wall just outside the backstage entrance at Full Sail, taking a moment to relax amidst the hustle & bustle of show day. If anyone asked, he’d say he was checking social media to make sure nothing had leaked about his impending debut. The reality is he was desperately hoping for a good luck text that didn’t look like it was going to come.

Hunter walked over and clapped Finn on the shoulder. “You good?” he asked, brows furrowing slightly.

Finn smiled. “I’m great.” He wasn’t totally lying, at least, though the words came out a bit flat. “Already did the run throughs and everything.”

Hunter raised an eyebrow. He was nothing if not perceptive, especially around people he’d worked with as long and as closely in the past as he had with Finn. “You sure about that? Not to be a dick, but you don’t look all that great.”

The tone in Hunter’s gruff voice resembled that of a concerned parent who thinks their kid is lying to them, and Finn supposed that was not too far off. “Yeah, yeah. I’m good. Just excited,” Finn reassured. “Trying to get the nerves under control. I’ll be fine before I have to go out there.” There was a small part of him that hated not telling the full truth, but the last thing he needed was his boss thinking his head wasn’t in the game on such an important night. He felt like he had a lot to prove.

Hunter’s expression softened. “This means that much to you, eh kid?”

“You have no idea,” Finn replied as his smile widened to a grin.

The older man huffed. “It’s good to have you back, Finn,” he said fondly. “Go out there and remind everyone you’re a star.” He clapped Finn on the shoulder again before heading back inside.

Finn let out a breath, and then found himself looking at his empty notifications one last time before heading inside to start getting ready.

*****

Seth sighed as he plopped down on the side of the bed. He loved every aspect of his job, but two straight days of press junkets was starting to take a toll. Hours and hours of getting asked the exact same questions over and over, until his throat was sore, and his attention span started to wane.

He picked up the room’s telephone and placed a room service order for dinner, and then grabbed the remote to flip on the TV and switched it over to the appropriate channel. Moving so that he was laying in the center of the bed, he grabbed his phone and started to open his messages, but then he hesitated.

Seth sighed and dropped his phone. He still hadn’t found the courage to reach out to Finn, not sure where to even begin with the number of apologies he knew he needed to give. That was a conversation he wanted to have in person, he felt Finn deserved that at the very least, but he also wanted to let the older man know he was thinking about him. But as each day went by since he had walked out the week before, he became more and more worried that Finn wasn’t going to want to hear it, and he was afraid that if he contacted him he wouldn’t get a reply.

His attention was drawn back to the TV as the intro for NXT started playing. A small smile moved across his lips, a feeling of pride at seeing the faces of so many of his old friends flash across the screen. As the show began and the opening match commenced, he found himself watching more intently than he’d expected. It had been so long since he’d watched the show, choosing instead to spend his evenings off enjoying things other than wrestling, and he had forgotten how exciting the style they worked was. And this match was particularly good.

A knock at the door drew his attention away from the screen, and he quickly got up to receive his food and sign the credit card slip. He settled back down on the bed, putting the tray to the side for the moment so he could watch the end of the match. As Adam Cole pinned Matt Riddle to end the match, Seth made a mental note to send Adam a message later. He’d enjoyed the match, and was happy for his friend getting the chance to kick off such an important show for the brand. He smiled as Cole lifted the NXT title, then turned towards the tray of food he’d been neglecting.

The unexpected clang of an all-too-familiar guitar chord caused him to turn his head back towards the screen so fast he could have given himself whiplash.

The roar of the crowd was unlike anything he thought a room that small could be capable of once they realized what was going on. _My God,_ Seth thought as Finn Bálor sauntered onto the stage like he owned it. Confidence oozed off him in a way Seth hadn’t seen in a long time, cocksure and fully aware that he had every single person in that room in the palm of his hand. Finn hit his pose, raising his arms to his music, and the crowd responding in kind with such exuberance gave Seth goosebumps. Seth’s mouth went dry as Finn entered the ring and slowly circled Cole, almost as if circling prey, and he swore he’d never seen anything so sexy in his life.

“As of now, Finn Bálor, is N. X. T.”

A pang ran through Seth at Finn’s words, a combination of guilt and the tiny bit of the hurt still present stabbing him in the heart. But as he watched the man he loved soak up the adulation being rained down on him from the crowd, he couldn’t deny the immediate change in him. _He looks amazing,_ he admitted to himself. Finn looked so much more comfortable, more self-assured, more at peace in that ring than Seth had seen in a while. The spark in those beautiful eyes that had been missing during his time on Smackdown was back.

He knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that Finn had made the right decision. Now he just needed to figure out a way to tell him.

*****

Finn was grinning so brightly once he got back through the curtain his face hurt. The crowd had been absolutely electric, and adrenaline flowed through him in a way he hadn’t felt in a long time. Being back in the ring at Full Sail had felt so good, and he was excited for everything he and Hunter and the creative team had talked about earlier that day. It truly felt like he had come home.

After receiving a hug from Hunter and making sure to thank Adam Cole for selling the moment to put him over the way he did, he was finally able to make his way out of gorilla and towards the locker room. After taking a second to accept the congratulations and “welcome back”s from the guys in the back, he grabbed his phone from his bag and politely made his exit.

A camera crew was waiting for him when he made his way outside. He couldn’t help the excitement in his voice or the happiness in his face as he spoke about his return to NXT, and he knew he probably came off a bit like a hyperactive toddler. But at that point he didn’t care. All of the stress, the self-doubt, the burnout he’d felt over the past year or so working on Raw and Smackdown had evaporated the moment he stepped out of the curtain and saw the way the crowd reacted. He’d needed this, more than he’d even realized, and that love of the business that had brought him into a wrestling ring and got him to WWE in the first place was back in spades.

After finishing the interview, he excused himself and moved over towards some equipment trunks nearby. He needed a moment to himself, to try and bring himself back down to earth from the high of his return. He took a seat on one of the cases and leaned back against the wall, closing his eyes and taking a few deep breaths in the mild October air.

His phone had been going insane in his jacket pocket, and finally after a few minutes he pulled it out and thumbed through the many notifications. He got a laugh out of a few of them – notably Ricochet losing his mind (“ _THAT WAS WHAT YOU COULDN’T TELL ME???”_ ) – but mostly just smiling as he read through the various congratulations, freak outs, and other messages of support from his friends.

Eventually he stood up, wanting to go back inside and give a good luck message to Tommaso Ciampa before he made his own return. He stretched and adjusted his jacket, feeling his phone go off again in his hand. He took a quick glance at the screen and felt his heart leap up into his throat.

_“Seth Rollins: <3”_

Finn wasn’t quite sure what to make of it. They hadn’t spoken in a week, and all Seth could send was a heart emoji? But at the same time, it was _something_ , and the timing of the message meant he had been watching. Or did it? He shook his head, blinking back the stinging in his eyes and trying to shove away the confusion of his mixed emotions. He took a deep breath, fingers hovering over the keyboard a moment, before finally sending Seth a heart emoji of his own in response.

Then he put his phone on silent and headed back inside the venue.


	6. To Hell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the Sunday after Finn's NXT (re)debut. Hell in a Cell.  
> Seth is uneasy heading into the match, and Finn can only watch from a distance as it all transpires.

Seth took a deep breath as he entered the arena in Sacramento. He hoped to get in and to his locker room as quickly as possible, and then just hide there until he had to go to the ring to plan out his match. He had a bad feeling about the night, unease prickling just below the skin, and that on top of everything else going on made him feel like a stick of dynamite with a short fuse. And everyone around him was holding a match.

He didn’t make it more than ten feet into the catacombs of the Golden 1 Center before hearing his named called. He caught himself before sighing aloud, turning to towards the direction the voice had come from and forcing a small smile onto his face. “Hey, Bex,” he greeted as the redhead made her way up to him.

“Hey champ,” Becky teased, the lighthearted joke turning his stomach a bit. Her own smile faded a bit as she noticed his discomfort. “You alright there?” she questioned softly.

Seth had always thought Becky was unfailingly perceptive; much the same way Finn was. Maybe it was an Irish thing, or the two of them rubbing off on each other after so many years of friendship. Either way, it was both good and bad depending on the timing, and in that moment, he felt like it was the last thing he needed. “I’ll be fine,” he deflected. “Ready for your first cell match tonight?”

She wasn’t buying it. “You didn’t answer my question,” she pointed out. She placed a gentle hand on his shoulder, much the same way she had the night of the Superstar Shake-up back in April. Calming, solid, grounding. “Sure you’ll be fine, but are you alright now?” she asked again.

Seth didn’t bother trying to stifle the sigh that left his lips, his eyes drifting off to focus on a point to her left. “I dunno. Something is… off, I guess, about tonight. Not sure how to explain it.” He shrugged, then shook his head. “I just have that feeling, you know?” he said as he made eye contact again.

Becky nodded with a sad, knowing smile. Every wrestler knew _that_ feeling. She pursed her lips for a second, almost like she was having second thoughts, but then spoke so quietly Seth almost didn’t hear her. “Have you talked to Finn about it?” she asked.

“We…” he trailed off. _How do I explain this?_

Becky sighed. “Look, Seth. I don’t know details and it’s none of my business if you don’t want to tell me. But I know _something_ is going on between you two. I spoke to Finn on Friday.”

Seth’s heart leapt into his throat. “You did?” His voice was shaky, and he felt her tighten her grip on his shoulder for a second.

“I did. He asked me how you were,” she answered. Seth’s eyes closed as he felt a tightening in his chest, and he swallowed hard as she continued. “Whatever happened, he loves you, Seth.” She squeezed his shoulder again before releasing it. “And I know you love him. It will work out,” she finished.

He nodded as he opened his eyes, looking down on her and smiling. It was a small smile, but it was genuine, and he couldn’t remember the last time that had happened. “Thanks Bex.”

She simply smiled in response. “So,” she started after they had both grabbed their bags and began to follow the signs towards the locker room area. “Any tips on how to survive the cell?”

Seth snorted. “Well, for one, don’t almost get impaled by it as it’s getting lowered,” he joked.

Becky laughed; the sound contagious and it drew a small cackle from Seth. “Well damn, there goes that plan,” she cracked in response.

The two chatted about his previous experiences in Hell in a Cell as they made their way, and by the time he reached his designated locker room he had almost forgotten about the foreboding feeling he’d had entering the building.

*****

A proud smile graced Finn’s lips as he watched Becky holding her title high inside the cell structure. He reached out and grabbed his phone off the coffee table, shooting off a quick congratulatory text to his former student. “ _No one’s gonna top that! Ya done good, lass. Proud of you.”_

He put the phone down on the arm of the couch before getting up to grab a drink from the fridge. It’s not that he didn’t care about the rest of the matches on the card – he had a lot of friends on the show that he wanted to make sure to support – but the only matches he was truly invested in were the two Hell in a Cell matches. He knew the women would kill it but they had blown it completely out of the water. However, if he was being honest with himself, he was a little bit concerned about Seth’s impending match with The Fiend.

Finn had been relatively happy about the build to his Summerslam match with The Fiend. He got to do some character work, something that had been growing more and more rare as his time on the so-called “main roster” went on. The match might have been short but he and Bray had made the most of it, managing to tell a complete story in the ring in under four minutes, building up The Fiend as a character and giving Finn a way to go out somewhat strong before his sabbatical.

The same could not quite be said about the build to Seth’s cell match with the character. Finn had listened to Seth venting his uncertainty about the way creative was portraying him during this feud, feeling like they were making him look weak and a bit stupid, and watching on TV each week Finn would have to agree. He was trying to be cautiously optimistic about the match itself, but since he hadn’t talked to Seth he didn’t know who was slated to win, and the uncertainty gnawed at him a bit.

He plopped back down on his couch and took a swig of his beer as the show continued. It wasn’t the best event Finn had ever seen, but he found himself enjoying it more than he had expected. He sent off a few texts to friends on the card through-out, including a particularly snarky message to Karl Anderson after The O.C.’s mess of a match that he knew he’d catch hell for later. As Bayley and Charlotte’s match drew to a close, he quickly got up and grabbed another beer before settling in for the main event.

The crowd’s screams of “Burn It Down!” made his stomach flip, and as Seth made his walk to the ring and entered the cell structure it felt like something was trying to strangle his aching heart. Seth looked incredible, and to the untrained eye he looked every bit the confident-near-arrogant Rollins character the fans knew. But Finn knew better, could see the unease bubbling under the surface, and he hated that he couldn’t be there with him. Hated that he wasn’t even sure if Seth would want him there after the silence that had passed between them since their fight.

The Fiend’s entrance was still a sight to see, though it didn’t hold quite the same mystique for Finn as it had when he’d watched it standing at ringside. And then the match started.

“The fuck is this lighting?” Finn thought out loud as the bell rung. The red lighting with the red chain-link cell was a weird choice, and he felt his concern for his love rising again as he imagined how difficult it would be to see what he was doing in that scenario. The crowd was hot for the match, loudly cheering as Wyatt had the upper hand at the start. He winced as Seth was slammed into the cell with Bray’s finisher, and seeing Seth do the neck-snap spot he himself had done in his own match he suddenly understood why Seth had been so upset by it as it looked brutal. He smiled as Seth landed a series of superkicks and began to make a bit of a comeback in the match.

As Seth hit his Stomp finisher again and again to no avail, Finn felt the color begin to drain from his face. “Oh no…” he muttered, hearing the boos beginning to rain down from the crowd the longer the match went on.

And then the finish happened.

Finn could only sit and watch, hand over his mouth in horror, as the referee called for a no contest. The arena erupted in the loudest boos he’d ever heard in his life, all directed unfairly at Seth. The show went off the air and he reached for the remote to turn off his tv, then grabbed his phone. He sat in stunned silence, staring at the device in his hand, willing his brain to come up with something to say. “A Dhia, cad a dhéanfaidh mé?” he whispered as his fingers hovered over the screen. Finally, he decided to just go with the only thing he truly wanted to tell the man.

_“I love you <3”_

He then finally forced himself up off the couch and up the stairs to get ready for bed. He knew it would be awhile before Seth could get back to his locker room, and after the way things had gone it would be even longer before he’d probably even think about checking his phone, so he resisted the urge to check for a response every few minutes. He washed his face and brushed his teeth, allowing himself to check one last time before climbing into bed. As he lay there, waiting for sleep, he hoped that Seth was okay. And he prayed that _they_ would be okay. Schedules starting to calm down meant they might finally get a chance to talk, and he shook off the familiar anxiety and doubt as he fell into a fitful rest.

He was sad but unsurprised when he woke up to no reply.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "A Dhia, cad a dhéanfaidh mé?" - "God, what do I do?"  
> (via google translate, please correct me if wrong)
> 
> personal note: I was lucky(?) enough to be at Hell in a Cell 2019. I've never heard boos like that in my life. And I still feel horrible for Seth having to take the brunt of it.


	7. And Back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seth comes home.

_“Briefly when he got to the arena”_

_“Did you talk to him at all?”_

_“Said hi”_

Finn sighed as he watched the icon that let him know his friend was still typing. He’d reached out to Sami Zayn to see if he’d run into Seth at all, trying to get an idea of how the younger man was doing after the way the previous night’s show had ended.

 _“He hasn’t really spoken to anyone since last night. He took off right after the match”  
_ _“Left Tony at the arena. He hitched a ride with Shin and I”_

Finn put his phone down on the kitchen table and rested his head in his hands. It was incredibly unlike Seth to do something so callous towards one of his friends, especially someone he was as close to as Antonio Cesaro. It also meant that Seth had made the four-hour drive from Sacramento to Bakersfield by himself, and Finn had to take a couple of deep breaths to calm himself as he thought about how potentially dangerous that would be. _Seth was pissed when he found out I was driving from Moline to Sioux Falls alone, now he goes and does that?_ He thought with another sigh. His phone vibrated again, and he slowly lifted his head so he could grab it.

_“He’s not on the card tonight”_

_“That definitely won’t help his mood any”  
_ _"Do me a favor?”_

_“Sure”_

_“If you do get a chance to talk to him will you ask him to call me?”  
_ _“Or text me if he isn’t up to talking?”  
_ _“I need to know if he wants me to pick him up at the airport later”_

 _“Of course”  
_ _“Be well, my friend”_

_“You too, Sami”_

Finn threw his phone on the table and put his head back in his hands. _I need to know if he’s coming home,_ he thought desperately. The uncertainty of the past ten days had reached a boiling point in Finn’s mind. Their forced separation due to Seth’s schedule was almost at an end, but he couldn’t get rid of the nagging thought in the back of his mind that it wasn’t over yet. _Please come home to me, love._

*****

It was earlier than he had expected, Seth noted as he settled into the back of the cab. After finding out he didn’t have a segment on Raw, Seth had somewhat undiplomatically told Vince McMahon he was leaving. They had had words after the cell match ended the previous night, and Seth had been prepared for another round of verbal jousting, but Vince just gave an understanding nod. So he’d spun on his heel, grabbed his stuff from his locker room, and sought out Cesaro to apologize for stranding him at the arena the night before. Then he headed to the airport, luckily able to change his flights once he got there so that he arrived a couple hours earlier than he had originally been scheduled.

He understood why he was left off the show, but it still felt like pouring salt in the wound. And thinking about it only served to make his blood start boiling again. Seth took a deep breath. As the cab made its way out of the airport and began to head through the streets of Orlando, he knew it wasn’t the time to think about work anymore. It wasn’t the time to think about himself at all, really, other than what he was going to say. It was time to focus on Finn.

He was nervous. What if the older man was still angry? Not that he could blame him if he were. _What if he doesn’t want to see me?_ He shook his head to chase the thought away as best he could. It would be his own fault if that were the case and he knew it. He grabbed his phone out of his jacket and opened his texts, staring down at the unanswered message Finn had sent the night before. Seth hadn’t bothered checking his messages before storming out of the arena after the disaster that was his match in Sacramento, instead he’d put his phone on silent and left it until the next morning. Had it been any other match at any other time in their relationship Finn would have called instead of texted, and he would have received the call since Finn is on his favorites list. Instead his stomach dropped to his feet when he finally read the “I love you” sent not-too-long after his match had ended.

As the cab pulled up to the house Seth’s pulse began to race. He took another deep breath to steady himself before letting it out with a sigh as he walked up to the door. He opened it as quietly as he could, easing himself and his luggage inside and closing it softly. The house was silent, and he hoped that meant Finn was asleep. The thought had crossed his mind while he was in the airport that Finn might have left, but he’d dismissed it with a small laugh. It was _Finn’s_ house to begin with, even if it had eventually become one of _their_ homes.

Heart pounding, he slowly made his way up the stairs. As he got closer to the master bedroom, he began to hear something. It was a quiet sound, becoming more and more clear the nearer the room he got, and when he stepped to the doorway his already strained heart broke at what he found.

Finn was lying on the bed facing away from the door, curled up into himself, body visibly shaking and shuddering as he sobbed softly. Seth could see the shine from tears on the little bit of his face he could see, noticed the way he was almost desperately clutching the pillow. He saw how tightly wound with tension his body was. And even if he didn’t feel like he had the right to with everything that had happened, he knew he had to do something.

Seth softly walked around the bed, pausing once he could see Finn’s face. The Irishman’s eyes were closed tight, and Seth swallowed before stepping forwards again. He knelt in front of Finn, gently placing fingertips on the edge of the bed so as not to startle him. “Finn?” he asked quietly.

Finn’s eyes shot open, and he scrambled backwards a little bit in shock after finding someone in front of him. Seth remained where he was, and after a moment to catch his breath Finn carefully moved towards him. “Se… Seth?” he whispered, reaching a hand out to touch him, as if to make sure he wasn’t dreaming. “Seth? You’re here?”

The Irishman’s voice was small and shaky, and Seth had to choke back his own emotions. “I’m here, Finn,” he answered, grabbing the hand that was still sitting on his cheek and squeezing it gently.

Finn stared at him for a few seconds, during which Seth’s brain jumped to about a million different conclusions. Then he collapsed forward, wrapping his arms around Seth’s neck and burying his head in his shoulder. Seth placed his arms around Finn’s shoulders and just held him for a moment, closing his eyes at the feeling of his boyfriend in his arms again. When he opened his eyes again, he took note of the awkward position Finn’s body was in and shook his head. He carefully disengaged from Finn’s arms, making sure to continue holding his wrists so he knew Seth wasn’t leaving him, and then slid his hands up to his shoulders and moved him upwards just slightly so Seth could sit down under him.

As soon as he was seated Finn immediately curled up against Seth’s chest, wrapping his arms around his waist, and Seth thanked every deity he could think of as he placed one of his own arms across Finn’s back. His other hand moved up towards the back of Finn’s neck, lightly scratching through his buzzed hair. “Tell me, babe,” he said.

Finn’s body shuddered against him, still wracked with emotion, and Seth tightened his hold. “I didn’t… you were… I mean… after everything… and the text… and I…” he trailed off, and Seth could feel him start trembling in his arms. Seth moved his hand from Finn’s neck to his back, running it up and down his spine to try and sooth him, and Finn took a few quick breaths in his own attempt to calm himself. Then he pulled back a little, until reddened eyes met Seth’s brown ones. “I thought you weren’t coming back,” he admitted.

It took everything in Seth’s body to keep his jaw from dropping as he realized in horror how his actions had read. It felt like someone had ripped his heart from his body and set it on fire. “Oh God, Finn. No,” he responded, planting a harder than intended kiss on Finn’s forehead. “No. I’d never do that to you.” He reached up and wiped away Finn’s tears with his thumb before cupping his love’s cheek. “I’ll always come home to you, Finn,” he vowed, looking deep into the blue eyes that captivated him so much. “I promise.”

“You promise?”

Seth couldn’t help but smile a little at the wonder in Finn’s eyes as he repeated Seth’s words, he could look so childlike sometimes for a man who was nearing forty. “I promise,” he reiterated, placing a gentle kiss on Finn’s lips. “Come on, babe. Let’s get some sleep.”

Finn nodded, reluctantly releasing Seth so he could get ready for bed. Seth pulled the covers back first, tucking Finn in and getting a giggle in return that might have been the best thing he’d ever heard in his life. He changed and brushed his teeth, then turned the lights off before climbing in beside Finn and holding out his arm. He placed a soft kiss on Finn’s temple as the smaller man snuggled into his side, his arm coming to rest across Seth’s torso, and Seth again began carding his fingers through Finn’s short hair. “Goodnight, Finn.”

Finn looked up briefly, hooded eyes heavy from emotion and sleep. “Goodnight, love,” he replied before tucking his head into Seth’s shoulder.

Seth’s heart swelled at the endearment. He watched as Finn’s eyes closed, continuing to gaze at him as his breathing eventually evened out and he drifted off to sleep. They had a _lot_ to talk about the following day. And if he were to be honest with himself, there was still a part of him that worried it would all blow up in his face in the morning. But for now… for now he was going to enjoy this, enjoy lying there with his boyfriend pressed against his side. And when Seth finally fell asleep himself, it was with a smile on his face.


	8. Revelations and Resolutions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finn and Seth have a long, difficult, and way overdue conversation about their relationship.

Finn’s head was throbbing when he woke up. He squeezed his eyes shut for a moment to block out the sunlight leaking in through a crack in the curtains, trying to remember if he’d been drinking or anything the night before to explain… oh. _Oh_.

The events of the previous evening came crashing back to him as his brain started to emerge from the fog of sleep. Not hearing from anyone after his conversation with Sami ended. Breaking down after Raw went off the air. The shock of finding Seth kneeling next to the bed. Falling asleep in Seth’s arms for the first time in two weeks. _Seth came home_.

He stretched with a yawn before finally opening his eyes. Rolling over, he was startled to find himself alone in the bed. A quick glance at the clock confirmed it was still early, and Finn sighed as his head fell back against his pillow. Seth usually slept in late after getting back from the road, and he’d expected to find the younger man snoring beside him. He closed his eyes and put a little pressure against his temples in hopes of easing the pounding in his brain. _Did I dream everything?_

Opening his eyes again he spotted Seth’s phone sitting on the nightstand, plugged into the charger, and let out a sigh of relief. He stretched again, a feeling a satisfying pop in his lower back, and then forced himself out of bed and down the stairs.

He paused before entering the kitchen and took in the scene in front of him. Seth was sitting at the kitchen table, cup of coffee in one hand and his tablet in the other. A mug waited for him on the counter next to the coffeemaker, and next to the mug was a glass of water, a bottle of Tylenol, and a protein bar. Finn had to smile at that, how despite everything that had happened between them Seth still wanted to make sure he was taking care of himself.

Seth finally looked up and noticed him standing there, a small, tentative smile pulling at his lips. “Good morning,” he greeted softly.

Finn smiled again. “Morning,” he replied, stopping himself just short of calling him by a pet name the way he usually would. There was still a feeling of tension in the air, and he didn’t want to get his hopes up too much yet. He made his way over to the counter, turning his head towards Seth for a second. “Thanks,” he said as he popped open the medicine and swallowed down two of the pills, making sure to down the entire glass of water since he could feel Seth watching him.

“Figured you’d need it.”

Finn hummed in response. He ignored the protein bar despite being fully aware the other person in the room would take notice, and went to pour himself some coffee. The unease in his stomach made even that small bit of food seem completely unappealing. He grabbed the milk out of the fridge to add a little to his mug, and then paused. “Look, I know we should… we need… to talk,” he started, turning his body to face Seth completely. “But if you’re not up to it after this weekend or if you want to wait, I understand.” His voice was shaky as he forced the words out.

Seth shook his head. “No,” he answered as he locked the tablet and put it down. “What happened at Hell in a Cell isn’t important.” He noticed how Finn raised an eyebrow at the statement, and huffed. “Okay fine, it is important. But not right now. Not more than this,” he clarified.

Finn nodded. He grabbed his mug and took a seat across from Seth at the table. An awkward silence fell between the two men as Finn took a long drink of his coffee. Then he took a deep breath. “Seth, I’m sorry for not talking to you before agreeing to the NXT move.”

Seth shook his head. “No, I…”

“Let me talk. Please,” Finn interrupted. He took another deep breath as Seth acquiesced, holding his hands up as if in mock surrender. Finn placed both hands around his mug to keep from scratching at his beard or clenching his fists. “Thank you,” he said after one more inhale/exhale. He was determined to keep his emotions under control this time.

“My career has ruined almost every relationship I’ve ever had,” Finn began, eyes drifting down to the brown liquid in front of him. “When we started dating, I was determined not to let that happen again. And at first it was easy, you know? We were on the road together, and then we started working storylines together, and it was good. It was fun. Probably some of the best months of my life,” he confessed, glancing up to meet Seth’s eyes quickly before looking down again. “After that first trip to Saudi Arabia things got weird. It felt like they were booking me by throwing a dart or something. I’m sure I probably bitched your ear off about it every Monday when we’d get back to the hotel because it was so damn frustrating. And I tried to make the best of it because at least I still had you there with me, and your career was skyrocketing, and I was so proud of you.” He paused, taking a sip of his coffee. “But after awhile it stopped being fun, and I started worrying that if something didn’t change I…” he swallowed down the lump he felt forming in his throat, closing his eyes for a second. “I was worried I’d start to resent you. Because there were a couple of moments where you were the only reason I didn’t walk out on my contract.”

Finn heard the sharp inhale from Seth at his admission. He’d never told anyone about that, especially not his lover. But he knew he needed to lay all his cards on the table if this conversation was going to go anywhere.

Finn let the words sit for a moment before continuing. “When they moved me to Smackdown, I wasn’t happy about being separated from you.” He heard Seth give a small laugh at the understatement, and it gave him a tiny boost of confidence. “But I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t excited about the possibilities of a new brand and a different writing team. But then what happened? I disappeared from TV while holding the Intercontinental title.” He couldn’t help the bitterness that seeped into his voice, and he shook his head to try to clear the feeling out. “So, when Hunter approached me about returning to NXT, I didn’t even think about it. I said yes on the spot, because I know that in NXT I’ll get to have creative input again. I’ll get to have some say in my character again. I’ll get to actually _wrestle_ again, and not just go through the motions. I’ll get the kind of booking that you get on Raw, booking based on my abilities and not Vince’s weird hang-up over my size.” He took another deep breath, but then looked up into Seth’s eyes and held his gaze. “I don’t regret the decision I made, but I _do_ regret not talking to you about it first. Or at least giving you a head’s up that it was on the table. And I am truly, truly sorry for that. And for making you feel like you didn’t matter, because you matter more to me than anything else in the world. I just didn’t want my unhappiness with the business side of things to start hurting what we have. I hope you can understand that.”

Seth nodded, chewing on his bottom lip as he processed everything Finn had just told him. He watched as Finn nervously took a sip of his coffee, and felt the pit that had already formed in his stomach turning into a chasm. _How long was he been holding all of this in? Was it because he was worried about the reaction he’d get?_ He was silent for a minute as he figured out how he wanted to approach everything, but when he finally did, he let out a sigh. “Before I respond, I need you to answer something for me.”

Finn nodded cautiously. “Of course.”

Seth pursed his lips for a second before continuing. This was going to be one of the hardest conversations he’d ever had. “Finn, that night when you found out about the move to Smackdown. Why were you apologizing to me?” he asked softly.

Finn’s eyes went wide as the question caught him off guard, and it took him a moment before he could answer. “I… I guess I was worried about how you’d take it. Here was my career getting in the way again, and I felt terrible about it.”

“But it wasn’t your fault. It was Vince and the writers who made the call,” Seth countered. “You shouldn’t have felt like you needed to say sorry for that.”

Finn’s eyes were diverted back to the mug in front of him. Seth could see how hard he was grasping at the ceramic, holding it like a lifeline. But he stayed silent.

Seth shook his head. “I don’t want you to feel like you can’t talk to me about something, especially something that weighs on you as heavily as all of that must have. And I never, ever, want you to feel guilty for doing what you think is right for your career because of how it will affect me,” he said. He waited for a second for Finn to meet his eyes, but the older man never looked up. “And I’m sorry that I made you feel like you had to keep all of that from me.”

That got a reaction out of the Irishman. His head shot up; blue eyes near-panicked as they stared into Seth’s. But as he opened his mouth to speak Seth held up his hand to stop him. “But…”

Seth shook his head, refusing to let Finn even think about apologizing again. “I’ve had a lot to think about since our fight. There were a lot of things I had to come to terms with. A lot of things about _myself_ I had to come to terms with. And I realized what a selfish bastard I’ve been,” he admitted. “And here I’d thought I’d been supportive,” he muttered, almost under his breath.

“You have been,” Finn interjected nervously.

Seth huffed, the small chuckle lacking humor. “No, what I’ve been is a jackass. Sure, I’ve sat down and listened when you needed to vent or been there to celebrate after a big win or something. But you let your career take a backseat to mine for all that time, and I had my head so far up my own ass that I didn’t notice it. I should have never let that happen.” He paused as he tried to find the right words for the other things he needed to say, his conversation with Cesaro floating up to the front of his mind. “I’m sorry for every time I thought more about how your business decisions would affect me than I did how they would affect you, and I’m even more sorry for making you feel guilty about them. You’ve worked so hard and accomplished so much, and I don’t ever want you to downplay or hold back on any of your remaining goals and dreams because of me. You deserve better than that.”

With that, Seth rose to his feet. He watched the color drain from Finn’s already pale skin, and internally cursed at himself for putting so much doubt in his mind. He slowly made his way around the table until he was next to where Finn sat, and then knelt down beside his chair. He tentatively reached out and took one of the other man’s hands in his own, and was relieved when he didn’t pull away. “I know I never apologized for leaving that night. I don’t think enough words exist to even begin to express how sorry I am for that,” he began, looking up into the eyes of the man he loved and swallowing hard. “Like I said, you deserve better. So much better than what I’ve given you so far. But, if you’ll let me, I’d like to try to be that better man for you.”

Finn said nothing at first, staring down at Seth in stunned silence. He could feel his eyes begin to sting, and the feeling of wetness spreading down his cheek was what finally snapped him out of it. He squeezed Seth’s hand, then brought it up to his lips and placed a gentle kiss on his knuckles. “I wouldn’t let anyone else even try,” he said with a soft smile. He leaned down and placed another gentle kiss, this time on Seth’s forehead. “You’re it for me, Seth. I love you.”

Seth couldn’t help the grin that spread across his face. He stood, tugging on the hand he still held to pull Finn to his feet. His free hand gently cupped the shorter man’s chin as he leaned down and lightly placed his lips against his. He felt Finn’s grip on his hand tighten, and then fingers snaking their way into his hair as the kiss grew deeper and deeper. As much as he wanted to, Seth forced himself to pull back before they could get too carried away. He instead wrapped his arms around Finn, burying his head in his neck as he felt Finn’s forehead rest on his shoulder. “I love you so much,” he whispered into Finn’s ear, smiling as he felt the shiver it caused.

They held each other for a few minutes, enjoying the feeling of simply existing in each other’s arms in a way that they hadn’t for so long. Finally, it was Finn’s turn to pull away. “I know we have a lot of work to do. Both of us,” he stated, looking up into Seth’s doe eyes. He reached up and ran a hand over Seth’s messy hair, then sliding it down until it came to rest on the side of his neck. “But you’re worth all the work, love.”

Seth leaned in for another kiss, passionate and intimate, but without the underlying desperation the previous one held. “I’m willing to do whatever it takes,” Seth confirmed as they broke the kiss for air. “But you know what they say about ‘all work and no play’,” he teased with a wink.

“Oh?” Finn replied coyly, licking his lips. “What’s that?”

Seth didn’t answer, instead he grabbed Finn’s hips and pulled him forwards. Their lips crashed together again as Finn leapt up and wrapped his legs around Seth’s waist, the younger man stumbling backwards until he hit the counter. A low moan escaped from Seth as Finn broke the kiss and instead bit down just above the collar of his shirt, drawing a snicker from the smaller man. Two could play at that game, though, and Seth turned his head to nibble on the bottom of Finn’s ear. Finn made an embarrassing sound in response.

Seth moved his hands so they were supporting Finn a bit better, taking the opportunity to squeeze the Irishman’s ass in the process. Finn laughed wickedly as Seth then started moving, carrying him towards the stairs that led to the bedroom. This sort of playful intimacy between them was something both had missed during their time apart, something both were relieved was still so easy to slip into. Seth cackled as Finn cursed under his breath, forced to show some restraint to avoid sending both men tumbling down the stairs.

In the back of their minds they each knew the next few weeks would be difficult as they continued to work through their issues and started adjusting to new schedules. But as they made their way into their bedroom and Seth tossed Finn down onto the bed, both men felt more content than either had in a long time. And they were going to make the most of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promised a happy ending, dammit. I hope I delivered it on a satisfactory level.  
> (sorry for leaving it hanging there, but I'm not super comfortable writing smut so your imagination will have to fill in the blanks)
> 
> Thank you for reading, and letting me indulge in all these ideas that pop into my head. I hope you enjoyed the ride.


End file.
